A Deliberate Beginning: Embracing the Potential of the First 90 Days
As I’m supporting several execs in navigating their first 90 days in new roles, I’m reminded of the saying, “Where there are cracks, the light gets in.”
Each of them has been in the trenches of unicorn startups and survived the heartbreak that comes when your 'baby' doesn't make it to life. As they started entering new rooms, they could feel their insecurities, resentments and remnants of PTSD creeping in.
One confided, “I’ve developed an automatic response to look for the problems before the possibilities. I can see myself coming in with an ‘edge,’ and it’s crushing my ability to trust and be trusted."
I reflected back that his ability to observe himself ‘from the outside’, was the very thing that would empower him to shift the behavior.
“This conversation is proof that you haven’t lost your ability to be inquisitive, which signals that you haven’t settled for your previous ‘way of being’ in the world. Now, you have a choice.” His face softened, and in that moment, I could see ‘the light get in.’ These are the times coaches live for—when you can actually witness transformation happening in real time.
This is the path of conscious leadership: proactively challenging everything you ‘think,’ confronting and clearing old baggage before stepping into the next role, partnership, or position of power.
Entering with Grace
In the high-stake moments of first impressions you will be reminded of the power of a clean slate. You'll be forced to embrace learning-mind, examine old reflexes and flex new muscles that will ultimately reveal your integrated self–parts of you that have remained unseen or underutilized until now.
This is when old stories lose their power, as you begin to recognize the roles you played in past collapses. Over time, you’ll find gratitude for these lessons, which now inspire you to lead, evolve, and become the change-maker you aspire to be.
Your first mission: exude curiosity and collect data, before challenging strategies or redirecting initiatives.
Your team will be looking for evidence of your willingness to learn and adapt to their ways of working, thinking and engaging in difficult conversations. Some will be tracking your facial expressions and body language. Others may have already come to conclusions about your approach, credibility or capacity to win.
This is when it’s critical to:
Become hyper aware of your unconscious signals and how they manifest..
Catch yourself when making quick assumptions or judgements and take a pause.
Speak ‘from the I’ and own your experience. Broad-sweeping or conclusive statements can unintentionally throw people or teams ‘under the bus.’ Conscious communication will be one of the most telling signs of your leadership capacity.
Read the room: attune and actively listen so you don’t miss the nuanced behaviors, customs, tensions and team dynamics that will reveal the true layers of the land you’ve embarked on.
For those of you who are introverted or not naturally relational, the ‘edge’ for you here will be to authentically (maybe even vulnerably) ‘reveal yourself.’
Talk about your failures, perspectives, preferences and needs. Start to inspire a vision for the future by sharing how you’ve navigated in ‘war times,’ why you chose to step into this role and where you see the greatest potential for what’s to come.
The more you can share, the more people will understand and (hopefully) embrace who you are—as a person, a leader, and operator.
Setting Expectations
The most common mistake leaders make in the first 90 days is being a ‘yes-man/woman.’
They come in wanting to be the rescuer, instead of the explorer. Their people-pleasing tendencies, and the ‘urgent’ fires that need to be put out, force them right into the weeds and keep them from grasping the bigger picture.
What's even more consequential, is that people will end up disappointed or losing trust because they couldn’t be all ‘things’ to all people at once.
The boundaries and guardrails you set for yourself (and your team) will pave the path toward collaboration, instead of fire-fighting.
Tactical Tip: Use the C.U.B.E. Framework—a simple yet powerful structure designed to empower you to "own" and guide a productive and thoughtful conversation. Here’s an example for a first 1:1:
C - Set Context: Share your objectives for this discussion in a way that signals your openness, curiosity, and desire to learn. For example, 'My goal is to understand your world, your needs, and how we can co-create an impactful partnership as I integrate into this role. Is there anything you would like to know or walk away with after our meeting today?'
U - Understand Each Other's Worlds (theirs first): If possible, come prepared with thoughtful questions that show you’ve ‘done your homework.’ For example, 'I understand you played an instrumental role in the IPO—what was that experience like?' or 'What advice would you give me as I step into this role, based on your journey so far?' When it’s your turn to share, try blending personal and professional insights into a story that illustrates who you are, where you come from, and what matters to you (in five minutes or less).
B - Brainstorm Options: Explore ways they can help you integrate into the organization. You might ask, 'Could I shadow an upcoming meeting to gain more context?' or 'In your opinion, what’s the best way to communicate my role to the team?' A strong closing question could be, 'How can I support you over the next month, 60, or 90 days?'
E - End with Commitments: Gauge how these suggestions and requests have landed, and outline the next steps. For example, 'Does this approach work for you? Should we set up a cadence for future check-ins?'
If you can cover these four parts of the conversation, stay present, and bring your weird, wonderful self to the table, you’ll be off to a great start!
Finally, embrace your ‘imposter.’ This is simply one part of you that shows up during new beginnings, as its role has been to protect you from rejection and failure in the past. There’s no need to give it more attention or power than it deserves, because now new parts are running the show now—parts that embody next-level awareness, mastery, and badassery.
Dear Leaders, thank you for immersing yourselves in places of greatest potential while staying committed to your personal evolution.
On behalf of all of us who receive your gifts, guidance, fight and light – Thank You.